Career & The City

When I worked for Capital One, the company had a really relaxed work from home policy. You could basically do it whenever you wanted, which resulted in many people working from home each Friday or taking a day here and there to bang out a really thoughtful, strategic project.

And this type of flexibility is becoming more and more commonplace. My friend that works for AmEx is actually encouraged to work from home at least once a week, because the company doesn't have enough space to accommodate every employee in the office (Hello, New York rent).

Generally speaking, I think as the face of corporate America shifts and millennials rise through the ranks, companies are seeing that opportunities for non-traditional work environments, along with a greater focus on work/life balance, are two really important aspects of professional life. This is great news!

I remember personally when Capital One first told us we'd be working from home for two weeks during office construction, and I was totally shocked to find out how much I loved the set-up. I felt like I was on fire everyday. No water cooler conversations distracted me. No commute slowed down my morning energy. It was blissful, and so much so, that when I found out I was getting laid off late last year, I decided to launch my very own, full-time, work-from-home company.

BUT ... (there's always a but) ... in my 6 months as an entrepreneur who runs her own business out of her living room, I've learned that there's actually a massive difference between working from home the odd day here and there and doing it all day, every day. And the differences are not just related to me and how I have to approach my work day, but also in how others perceive my job and what I do.

Yesterday I had a particularly egregious episode with a family member who insisted that I "step out" of a client meeting to FaceTime them (I'll spare you the nitty gritty background of the familial issue that led to this). If I were in a corporate environment, this family member never would have insisted on this kind of behavior, but because they knew I was home and parked on my couch, they assumed my work was less important, less relevant or that I could take more liberties with my professionalism. When I refused to disrupt my presentation to acquiesce to this family member's pressings, they had the nerve to get angry with me for being unresponsive.

I initially wrote a version of this blog post after that negative experience, but when I woke up with fresh eyes, I chucked it in favor of something more balanced. Truthfully, I think a lot of the confusion rests in the fact that most people don't actually know what it's like to work from home 24 hours a day (...and yes, I really do mean 24 hours a day). So here I am to pull back the curtain, show you the inner workings of the magic trick and hopefully give you insight into this crazy, complicated and wonderful way of life.

TRUTH #1: WHEN WORK = HOME, HOME = WORK

As my friend Bekah of That's Normal and Method Agency so accurately stated, "When you work from HOME, you ARE home," and that means you rapidly lose the distinction between times of your day that are set aside for work and times of your day that are set aside for fun. It also means that you lose the ability to "leave work at the office," because you're often literally waking up and going to sleep within 10 feet of your workspace.

This isn't necessarily a bad thing. I love working from my couch, and not having to commute an hour each way means I have 120 more minutes of productivity in me. But it also means that my work/life boundaries are fuzzier. As Bekah states, "Working until 9 or 10pm or beyond is a real thing that happens often if you're not careful."

TRUTH #2: OUR SCHEDULES ARE ABOUT AS PREDICTABLE AS THE COLOR STARBURSTS YOU'LL GET IN THOSE LITTLE TWO-PACKS

(...you know the ones I'm talking about, where you always pray you won't get an orange and a yellow?)

My friend Robert points out that, "...more often than not my work doesn't end at 5:00pm," and I'll raise him one to underscore that not only do our hours tend to extend beyond the traditional 9-5, they can also be more erratic and unpredictable.

When I was in the corporate world, I knew that I was (roughly) expected to be at the office Monday through Friday, 8:30am-5:30pm. Now some days I have a client at 8am and don't have another until 6pm. Last Friday, I helped teach a fitness class at 7pm, but this Friday I'm not. Sometimes I'll take a break for 1:30pm yoga on a Tuesday, but the next week I might be in a full-day conference or workshop on the same day. Every week is different based on how many assignments I'm juggling, what's happening in my community, and where and when I choose to fit in "fun" and self-care, like fitness.

This lack of regularity can be really unnerving to people that work a corporate lifestyle, because they can't "predict" your availability. It can be particularly challenging in cultivating romantic relationships, because we're often working weekend, early-morning or late-night hours when our companions are traditionally footloose and fancy free.

The fact is that when you run your own business or do freelance work, you have to "hustle" more than the average bear, and this can sometimes mean that your schedule falls victim to the availability of your clients or the timing of business-building opportunities that pop up. And since we don't get paid unless we're working, it can be hard to turn down an assignment simply because it falls outside of traditional working hours.

TRUTH #3: JUST BECAUSE WE'RE HOME DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE AVAILABLE

My friend Helene of Hashtagitude pointed out this really important truth: "We've got our set hours too! Sure there is the flexibility in where we work, but we still have hours/boundaries that [need to be honored] as well."

Keeping focused on the task at hand when you have the constant "possibility" for flexibility can be really hard. Part of the reason that I chose to work from home was because I wanted to be able to take a mid-day break or squeeze in a doctor's appointment without needing permission from my manager, but if I was always flexible and never structured, I would literally never get anything done.

Over time this has taught me that I have to be especially vigilant. I need to schedule blocks of time where I'm literally not going to answer the phone, respond to text messages or switch windows when I get a "ding" from Facebook messenger. I need to say no to mid-day coffee breaks, spontaneous lunch meetings and the pile of dirty dishes I was too lazy to wash last night. If I'm going to make progress, I have to pretend as though the constant distractions around me don't exist.

SO WHAT DOES THIS MEAN FOR YOU, MY 9-5 FRIEND?

Try not to let your assumptions get the best of you.

Don't assume that because someone is at home they can "just take a break for a 5-minute phone call" or "just pop out and run this errand for you / walk your dog / do something else you can't do because you're at an office."

Don't assume that the work they do takes less precedence over your work, or that because they work sporadic hours that they're "not working" most of the time (you have no idea what happens behind closed doors).

Try to be patient with your friends (and their calendars), remembering that structures aren't set for them, so there tends to be a whole lot of added responsibility resting on their shoulders.

Don't get mad if you get home and the dirty dishes from last night are still in the sink. Remember they were "at work" too, and unlike you, they probably had to deal with the smell from said dishes all day.

...and finally, don't judge if you come home from work and we're already in our pajamas with a beer in our hand (...this came from Bekah, not me, I swear...)

At the end of the day it all comes down to respect, and respecting that a work arrangement that might look somewhat different from yours doesn't make it any less valid or worthy of dedication.

What else have I missed? If you work from home, what are things you struggle with that others might not understand? What systems and processes do you put in place to mitigate your challenges? Let me know your thoughts in the comments section below!

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Gabrielle "Gabby" Bill is a career coach and consultant who believes everyone should be working in a job that leaves them feeling fulfilled. She coaches groups and individuals through a reflection process, uncovering often hidden motivations, values, goals and skills as they relate to their career. These reflections are then parlayed into concrete action plans to guide clients through the process of finding, creating and landing their dream jobs. You can learn more about her services by visiting www.gabriellebill.com.

Yes I'm that tiny blonde one in the back!

I'm coming up on my 6-year anniversary of graduating from Harvard Business School, which means that nearly 9 years ago at this time I had made the decision to apply, and about 8 years ago, I found out I'd been accepted. It never ceases to amaze me how quickly time passes, and yet, in spite of applying to grad school nearly a decade ago, the process remains ever-etched in my mind.

I guess when you spend 6+ months researching something, preparing for something and putting every ounce of your effort into something, it has a way of sticking with you, and that's a good thing, because even today I'm often asked: "How exactly did you do it?"

My first instinct is to shrug my shoulders and say, "I don't know! I'm just me! A normal, average person!" And then the memories float back: memories of studying endlessly for the GMAT, of prepping for my interview, of crafting "packets" for my recommenders. These memories remind me that even if I am just a normal, average person, this normal, average person worked really damn hard to get into Harvard.

Caveat: I'll be the first to tell you that advice is dangerous. Although I'm excited to share my story, I don't make any claims that my efforts represent the "right" or "only" way to get into HBS. In fact, I'd say trying to be me, rather than pursuing a path that you create, might actually do more harm than good. So take this with a grain of salt, rather than as a bible you're intended to follow.

Now that we're on the same page, I present to thee, in no particular order, 7 things I think played a role in me gaining admission to HBS:

1) I RESEARCHED THE HECK OUT OF THE SCHOOL AND WANTED TO ATTEND FOR MORE THAN JUST THE BRAND NAME.

When I first decided to look into MBA programs, I cast a wide net and researched lots of schools in lots of cities. But when I saw that they all cost $100K+ for a two-year, full-time program, I decided if I was going to spend that much money, I was going to go to the best school possible. Of course, this left a ton of options, and I remember researching lots of the schools on the typical "top" lists -- among them Wharton, Stanford, Tuck (Dartmouth), Kellogg (Northwestern), Stern (NYU), and yes, Harvard. In my research, it became clear to me that each program had a "brand," just like any product, and just as some consumers prefer Charmin to Scott toilet paper, it was important for me to think about which school aligned with my goals and needs. I decided to apply to Harvard not only because it was "Harvard," but also because the program's focus was on preparing people for general management careers. There were no specializations, the first-year curriculum was well-rounded, and for a journalism major, this meant I could leave with a strong foundation of cross-sectional knowledge. Becoming intimately familiar with the HBS coursework and really seeing myself at the school gave me interesting, compelling content to write in my essays, and gave me a convincing, confident stance to present in my interview.

2) I ONLY APPLIED TO TWO SCHOOLS.

This point is controversial and may not be what an admissions consultant would recommend, but I only applied to Harvard and NYU. I did this purposefully, not only because application fees were ridiculously expensive (like $250+), but also because they were the only two programs that really appealed to me. Harvard was my goal school, and NYU was a choice I'd feel comfortable with if I didn't get in, but if neither school accepted me, I decided I'd find a less expensive, less time consuming path to making my career dreams come true. To me the MBA wasn't so important that I was willing to go to a program that was a poor fit. The additional benefit here was that I only had to complete two applications, and given the many steps involved in each (essays, interviews, letters of recommendation, etc.), it allowed me to focus on making these two applications stellar. I never felt spread too thin; never stressed out about juggling multiple deadlines. My concentrated efforts took a tiny bit of complication out of an already hectic time.

3) I STUDIED EVERY NIGHT FOR THREE MONTHS FOR THE GMAT.

I've never been a math girl. I can do it, but it takes a lot of effort versus coming easily. So when I set my sights on HBS and knew I'd need a minimum 700 GMAT score to be a viable candidate, it became clear I'd need help. I bought a few GMAT prep books (with practice tests and worksheets), but quickly realized having an actual human to teach me and be a sounding board would be a better approach. I (painfully) forked over about $1,000 for a Princeton Review GMAT prep class, and it was one of the best decisions I made in my application process. The details are a bit fuzzy now, but I think I went to class for a few hours a week for around 8 weeks. The practice exam that I took before the course netted me a score of 590, so I had a lot to improve upon. And I'm not kidding you with how much I studied. I did so many practice questions that my brain hurt, and I was dreaming about sentence completion and data sufficiency. But when I took the exam and saw my score (720), I knew that every ounce of effort had been worth it. (Literally guys, I started crying so hard in the testing center that the administrator had to come over and ask me if they were tears of happiness or sadness).

4) I STUDIED FOR MY INTERVIEW AS HARD AS I STUDIED FOR THE GMAT.

Although I was really happy to have gotten my desired score on the GMAT, my studying didn't stop there. When I found out I was asked to come in for an interview (a key step for many applicants), I took to the internet to research other candidates' experiences. The online reviews were all over the place -- some people said the questions were killer; others said it was a piece of cake. Many chalked it up to whether or not you received a "kind" admissions officer. A few sites posted questions that students were specifically asked; others had lists of questions they thought you might get asked, but couldn't be sure. I didn't take any chances. I gathered every question I could find and made a massive list in a Word doc, then typed out my answers to every single question. I dug through my brain to find stories that applied to basically anything they could ask: mistakes I'd made, opportunities in which I'd led others, times I'd exhibited my core strengths. And like an actor rehearses for a play, I rehearsed my answers. My friend Lauren can even attest to the fact that I had her "quiz" me, not only to see how good my "story recall" was, but to ensure that when I did answer the question I didn't sound like a robot reading from a script. When I eventually did sit down for my interview, there wasn't a single question I was asked that I wasn't prepared to answer, so I was able to project the image of someone poised, confident and well-rounded.

5) I MADE IT EASY FOR MY RECOMMENDERS TO WRITE GREAT LETTERS ON MY BEHALF.

For most aspects of your application, you're completely in control. You can choose how much to study for the GMAT, what the content is in your essays, how much you prepare for your interviews. But with letters of recommendation, you're literally putting your fate into the hands of someone else, and most of the time you'll never get to see what that person writes. So not only did I think really strategically about whom to ask for letters of recommendation, I also did everything in my power to influence their content. I put together an "MBA Game Plan" that I handed them -- in it, I included a list of the top 5 projects I had worked, calling out the key strengths and skills I had exhibited in each. I put in a sheet defining my personal brand and the qualities I was most trying to showcase. I included my resume, information on why I was pursuing an MBA and easy instructions/deadlines for completing their assignments. When I handed these packets to my recommenders they were surprised and entirely grateful. Rather than them having to sit and think about things to say about me, I had done much of the work for them. Of course, I told them they were free to choose other examples that I hadn't mentioned, but my work got their juices flowing.

6) I INTENTIONALLY USED MY APPLICATION AS A PLACE TO TELL A STORY.

Remember that MBA Game Plan from the last bullet? Well, I created that document not only to help my recommenders, but also to help me. In figuring out what my personal brand was and how I wanted to represent myself in my application, I was able to look over each piece of my submission materials and ensure they laddered back to that story. This came into play in a big way when I was writing my essays. At the time, we had to submit 5 essays with a strict word count -- I don't think any was allowed to be longer than 600 words. That doesn't leave you with space for flowery language, so every word choice must be intentional. I used each essay to highlight one of the points I wanted to get across -- that I was a leader, that I was persistent and resourceful, that I was goal oriented, etc. And then I shared my essays with close family and friends, got their feedback and re-wrote the story if the message wasn't clear.

7) NOTHING HAPPENS WITHOUT A LITTLE BIT OF LUCK AND PROOF OF PAST PERFORMANCE.

I'd be remiss if I wrote this without admitting there were a few things playing in my favor that weren't a direct result of my MBA application efforts. Not saying these things to brag, but rather to give you a complete picture of my application: I did graduate valedictorian of my undergraduate program with a 4.0 GPA. I had a pretty solid resume with a big brand name like Disney on it. I was also coming from a non-traditional background with communications experience, which some may argue could have hurt me, but when you're a "celebrity" publicist competing against throngs of consultants and investment bankers, the pure fact that you're a little bit different can give you the edge, especially when the school is looking to fill their class with a diverse student population. Do I think these things would have warranted me admission without the previous six bullets? Probably not. But I'm sure they helped.

I've said it once, and I'll say it again. The two years that I spent at Harvard Business School were two of the best of my life, and I wouldn't trade them. And to those who think they'd never have a shot of getting in, I hope this testament shows that you don't have to come from an Ivy League pedigree, have insanely wealthy parents or "connections" in the right places. Sometimes pursuing things with intention and truly giving it your all pays off.

Are there other questions or topics you'd like me to address regarding my HBS experience? Let me know in the comments section below and I'll add them to the roster of future posts!

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It's been stated a hundred times, so this particular thought isn't anything new, but it's worth repeating to get this blog post off to a good start: In business you get promoted because you're great at executing a specific task, but the more and more you're promoted, the less you're actually asked to complete the task you were great at in the first place.

It's a fascinating dichotomy, because if we look at our educational systems, we spend 12+ years learning tactile, specific, repeatable skills designed to help us succeed in the workplace, yet we're given very little direct training in teamwork, communication styles, leadership and managing people.

This might be fine if you're a research chemist, and you literally spend every day performing experiments in a lab by yourself, but if you're an entrepreneur, in any business or corporate field or are in any company where there's a supervisory capacity, chances are the day is going to come when the skills you've been taught become obsolete.

If we think about it this way -- that functionally most of us just simply aren't taught how to be good bosses -- it becomes less of a surprise as to why so many people suck at it. I've seen dozens of co-workers who excelled as individual contributors completely lose their shit when it comes down to managing a team. They either don't understand how to delegate properly, or they aren't sure how to coach rather than critique. They're confused when it comes to building the skills of those around them, and perhaps worst of all, they don't know how to truly play as a team where the "rising tide floats all boats" mentality is prevalent.

I'll never forget this life-changing piece of advice that I received from my boss, Richard, when I was temporarily back-filling a marketing strategy role for Disney Cruise Line. Richard, who was one of the gems I've worked for, advised me to be a leadership sponge. He told me to watch the leaders around me and to take note when they did something great. He said to pay attention to my own feelings in the work place and to analyze when a leader made me feel good versus small. Over time, he said, I'd start to understand the difference between smart, strong leadership behaviors and those that should be avoided.

He was right.

When I became a people manager myself, I proactively went back to my internal book of leadership notes, and although I was by no means perfect, I think my years of observation helped me apply a thing or two that worked. Now I want to share these learnings with you!

1) GREAT LEADERS NEVER CHASTISE THEIR DIRECT REPORTS -- NOT IN PUBLIC OR IN PRIVATE
Your direct reports are humans, just like you and me, and humans are destined to screw up sometimes. But just like a dog will start to shy away from an outreached hand if you smack it as a form of discipline, your direct report will start to a) shy away from you and b) shy away from risks if you use sharp criticism and negativity as a means of shaping their behavior.

Here's an example. When I was working for Capital One, I misunderstood a direction that my manager had given me, and therefore I replied to an email that I shouldn't have, CCing a group of people that I also shouldn't have. I made a mistake -- there was no doubt about it -- but rather than addressing it calmly, my manager shot me a harshly-worded, anger-laced email chastising me. I reacted just like that hurt puppy would: I recoiled, felt terrible about myself for the rest of the day, and my productivity plummeted. Furthermore, in the future, I defaulted to asking for her permission before doing simple tasks or sought to repeat instructions multiple times, all because I was now terrified of awakening the dragon.

You could say I just didn't have tough enough skin. But why put someone in a situation where they need thick skin when there's an even better way to handle it that results in them feeling supported and empowered?

My favorite boss ever, Bryan, who I worked with at Disney Vacation Club for two years, was the absolute expert in stuff like this. Although I did plenty wrong during my time there, I never once felt as though I failed. If Bryan had critiques to offer me, he did so a) in person, b) after hearing my side of the story first and c) by delivering it in a kind, thoughtful manner whereby he reassured me he had my back and would work with me to fix the issue the next time. I always left his office with a smile on my face and feeling inspired to tackle a task, rather than dreading it.

2) GREAT LEADERS KNOW HOW TO LET THEIR DIRECT REPORTS "SWIM," WHILE KEEPING A LIFE RAFT AT THE READY
In my first marketing role at Disney, my manager Belinda gave me this direction: "You go on out and swim, swim, swim. If you go too far, I've got the fishing rod, and I'll just reel you back in." She understood that her role as my manager was not just to make sure that I got my work done, but to give me the opportunities I needed to grow and develop, while also having a cushion to fall back on.

Bryan understood this too. If I was in a meeting and at any point felt unsure of how to answer a superior's question or tackle a challenge set before me, I had only to glance at him, and he just knew. Without hesitation, he jumped in and had my back, but just as quickly would pass the reins back to me when he knew I could handle it.

This is unlike other bosses I've seen who either keep their direct reports on such a tight leash that they stifle their growth -- oftentimes done out of insecurity that someone else's success will usurp their own -- or they sit back and let their direct reports flounder, only jumping in when doing so makes them look good. This behavior might make the manager feel like they're the smartest person in the room, but it won't win them any long-term favors. When their direct reports aren't happy and either leave the company or seek to transfer to another team, that'll reflect poorly on them. And don't even think for a minute that they'll be safe from developing a poor reputation around the office. Tales of crappy leadership spread like wildfire.

3) GREAT LEADERS SPEND MORE TIME ASKING YOU WHAT YOU THINK SHOULD BE DONE, RATHER THAN TELLING YOU WHAT THEY THINK YOU SHOULD DO
This is a tough one to grasp, particularly for new leaders, because as we mentioned at the top of the post, you become a manager because you're really good at a certain task. And now you, oftentimes, have this wide-eyed junior employee sitting at your feet, and they know nothing about doing this task that you're an expert in. It can be all too tempting to sit up on your high horse and instruct your direct report time after time, but the reality is that real learning often comes from them figuring things out on their own.

There are some cases where instruction is necessary. If you need to teach them a new program, define a concept for them or show them an example of a finished product that they've never seen before, by all means, instruct away. But if they're running into a challenge, aren't 100% sure how to proceed or want feedback on something they're about to do, ask them what they think before you ever offer your opinion.

The truth is that your direct report probably isn't too far off from the right response. After all, you hired them because they had some baseline level of qualifications that, at least in your estimate, would set them up for success in this role. By you allowing them to express their thoughts, you're reinforcing their critical thinking processes and instilling confidence in them. If they're way off base, you can chime in and course-correct, but by acknowledging the smart thinking they did first, you're teaching them that exploring options themselves and coming to you with a recommended plan of action is smart.

Listen, being a great leader isn't easy. It's why, when you work for a great boss, you hold onto them for as long as possible and seek to learn as much from them as you can. It's also why, when you become a people manager, it becomes critical to ask for, and be open to receiving, feedback. Some of the leadership behaviors that we discussed here are simpler to proactively apply than others, but we can't forget that any management position is a two-way street, and you'll need to customize your approach based on who you're managing and how you best communicate. You'll prime yourself for the ultimate levels of success if you're willing to meet your direct reports halfway and continue improving yourself as you go -- after all, it takes two to tango!

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Now it's your turn. What else have you experienced as a manager or someone who was managed that has built you up or torn you down? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.

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Gabrielle "Gabby" Bill is a career coach and consultant who believes everyone should be working in a job that leaves them feeling fulfilled. She coaches groups and individuals through a reflection process, uncovering often hidden motivations, values, goals and skills as they relate to their career. These reflections are then parlayed into concrete action plans to guide clients through the process of finding, creating and landing their dream jobs. You can learn more about her services by visiting www.gabriellebill.com.

A lot of times I think we assume that when we're knee deep in something, it must mean that everyone around us also understands our world. Our depth of knowledge in a subject, and the fact that we often work with people with similar backgrounds, leads us to forget just how much we speak in jargon and live in a bubble.

This point really hit me a few nights ago when I was talking to one of my closest friends and she gave me a dose of reality: "I didn't really understand what you do," she said. "Now that we've spoken, I understand the value of a career coach, but before we spoke, I would never have ever thought I'd need you."

It sort of felt like one of those cartoon moments when a giant anvil drops out of the sky and falls right on top of your head...only thankfully, I knew how to remedy this problem (and it didn't involve waiting for the cartoon birds flying around my head to disappear).

The video below is the first of many I'll be creating. In it, I walk you through three things that coaching IS and two things that coaching ISN'T, and although this just scratches the surface, it hopefully leaves you with a better understanding of why coaching can be so impactful.

Guys, this is literally the first video I've ever created, so PLEASE share your feedback with me. If this video sparks any additional thoughts or questions, leave them in the comments section below or feel free to reach out via email or social media (there are links in the nav bar at the top of the blog).

I can't wait to hear what you think, and I hope you find the content helpful!

I've known Helene for half of my life, yet I've never met her in person and only heard the sound of her voice for the first time in the last 6 months.

You see, Helene and I were matched as online penpals back in high school when mailing a real dollar to some nameless, faceless penpal company was a thing we all did with our allowance money, right? (Let me know in the comments section below if this was you, too.). Most of those penpal relationships probably fell apart within, what, 6 months?

Helene and I have been mailing each other handwritten letters for 15 years.

That's why, when I started this Center Stage series, she immediately came to mind as someone I needed to feature. I've been following her career development literally from the beginning and have been so proud to watch her path transform along the way. To me, Helene is a shining example of someone who truly never gives up; of someone who is so willing to bob and weave, try new things and pursue what makes her happy, even when stumbling blocks get in her way. I hope you'll find her story as interesting and inspiring as I do.

Of course, it started somewhat unremarkably: She graduated from George Mason University in 2007 with a degree in marketing, a career decision she had made partly to "make her parents proud" and partly to capitalize on her love of hand-drawing "Got Milk?" ads on scraps of notebook paper. She was even lucky enough to land a job opportunity with a close family friend in San Francisco immediately after graduation!

But just as Helene was packing her bags and shipping her life off to California, tragedy struck. The friend who was going to hire her died suddenly, and in his absence, the job that was promised to her quickly disappeared. Now unexpectedly unemployed, living in a new city and possessing no real-world job experience, Helene found herself in the very opposite place she expected. Needing to stay afloat as she restructured her plans, she took a part-time job taking dictation at a local law firm, but within 6 months found herself unemployed again when the attorney retired and no longer needed her services.

And the struggles didn't let up. In light of the economic downturn, Helene spent about ten months working at a local hot dog stand, a job she never imagined she'd have with a college degree, then worked as an Administrative Assistant at a local ESL (English as a second language) school for a year and a half. While the job was good and gave her the chance to dip her toe into marketing, she quickly realized how limited her growth opportunities were and decided that perhaps higher education would get her out of her funk. She was accepted to the University of Denver's International MBA program and had prepared to start in the fall of 2010 when she was severely injured in a car accident. Her injuries were so bad that she had to defer enrollment for a year as she recovered, and although she did matriculate in the fall of 2011, she was disappointed with the program and choose not to stay.

Stuck in a series of what seemed like endless challenges, but knowing she had so much to offer the world, Helene decided to take things into her own hands; to stop waiting for employers to see her strengths, to stop waiting for a degree as a stamp of approval. Instead she hired a business coach, and with his assistance and encouragement, launched her own passion project and company: TAOPivot.

TAOPivot was a twist on a head-hunting agency. After realizing her love of connecting with international (particularly Asian) students in undergrad and then seeing first-hand how much trouble these same students had garnering MBA internships, Helene capitalized on a gap in the market. With TAOPivot, she could help students who spoke English as a second language polish their personal brands, while also acting as a liaison to companies, convincing them as to why they should bring on these incredibly smart individuals.

Students loved her. She was friendly, well-spoken, and as an Asian-American, someone they could relate to. And companies were excited to have her involved, as she acted as a sort of "front line" recruiter, bringing forth only candidates who were qualified, strong matches for the company.

Only things weren't as simple as presenting a candidate and a company saying "yes." In fact, a whole slew of politics and paperwork kept getting in the way, as candidates didn't always have the appropriate visas in place to accept the work, and securing them wasn't a service Helene offered.

"I referred my clients to some international attorneys, but the partnerships I had developed weren't that strong," she says. Ultimately, many of the students she worked with found it too challenging to accept jobs, even with Helene's help, and after nearly two years, the business folded. "It was like mourning the loss of a child," she says.

Leaving herself little time to grieve, Helene dove head first into her original passion: marketing. She started attending local and national events and conferences, live tweeting and building up the already-budding social media presence she had started with TAOPivot. Her efforts began getting noticed, and before long she had people approaching her asking for help with their social media efforts. But she was scared.

"I didn't feel like I was experienced enough, and I didn't want another failure," she says. So she treaded lightly, taking a few contracts, but also launching her second business simultaneously -- a boutique baking company that crafted handmade macarons and other delightful delicacies. Slowly, as her confidence grew, she shuttered the baking company and launched a social media agency full time.

Three years later, Helene's the successful founder and CEO of Hashtagitude, a full-service digital marketing firm that offers consulting and coaching to businesses looking to excel in social media marketing, as well as other areas of the discipline. She runs it with her co-founder and boyfriend Ryan, and although it's taken time to build, she's seen enough success to not only raise her rates, but start a social media-themed podcast with a growing listenership AND seek to hire her first employee in 2016.

I asked Helene if she thought this was "it," if this third business she's started was the "charm" the adage says it should be, and if this meant she'd be hanging up her entrepreneur hat. She chuckled.

"For now, I’m in a viable and sustainable business, but I’m still keeping my options open," she says. "I would like to see this business live on. I’d like to see it be more successful than my previous ventures. But I’m not sure what my next career will be, because I’m enjoying the present."

As for advice for others seeking to start their own business? Helene offers these nuggets:

1) Find a mentor or mastermind group, or hire a coach! Helene's worked with two coaches over the course of her career and credits them with helping her push her boundaries and grow her business beyond what she thought possible. She stresses the importance of building a support system, leaning on others and recognizing that there's so much to learn (and that's ok!).

2) Don't be afraid to invest in yourself and your business. She says: "The whole energy surrounding a business owner not investing in marketing or the business is projected out toward potential clients, and it turns people off. I kept getting all these rejections because people said they didn’t have enough money or I was too expensive. I was listening to a free audio course that said, when you yourself are stingy or cheap in investing in your own business or other entrepreneurs, that same energy is expressed out to people you want to work with."

On the same note, understand what is and isn't a smart investment. "When I started TAOPivot, I thought I needed all the big stuff right away: a semi-private or private office, all this promotional material. I learned the hard way and lost a lot of money. Focus on investing in the things you actually need."

3) Accept that failure is a part of the process. "Fail fast, fail first. The whole failing experience isn’t really a failure as long as you learn from it. It’s a failure if you don’t learn from it and keep doing the same thing over and over." To this we say: preach!

If you'd like to get in touch with Helene or learn more about her business, you can visit Hashtagitude's website, follow her on Twitter or connect on LinkedIn (just let her know you heard about her from Career & The City!).

Til next time!

_________________________________________________________________________________
Gabrielle "Gabby" Bill is a career coach and consultant who believes everyone should be working in a job that leaves them feeling fulfilled. She coaches groups and individuals through a reflection process, uncovering often hidden motivations, values, goals and skills as they relate to their career. These reflections are then parlayed into concrete action plans to guide clients through the process of finding, creating and landing their dream jobs. You can learn more about her services by visiting www.gabriellebill.com.

THREE WORK FROM HOME TRUTHS YOU NEED TO KNOW

HOW I GOT INTO HARVARD BUSINESS SCHOOL

HOW TO NOT BE A SHITTY MANAGER (OR THE DO'S AND DON'TS OF GREAT LEADERS)

WHAT IS CAREER COACHING, ANYWAY?

CENTER STAGE: HELENE KWONG OF HASHTAGITUDE

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