MANAGEMENT TIP: A RISING TIDE FLOATS ALL BOATS

Wednesday, November 18, 2015 Gabby Bill 0 Comments

About six months ago, I discovered podcasting. I know, I know, I'm dreadfully late to this game, but I never thought I'd like them til I found myself craving a "more productive" way to walk around Philadelphia. I've got a host of podcasts to recommend based on your fancy, but today's post comes in response to a recent episode of Good Life Project, hosted by Jonathan Fields.

Like most podcasters, Jonathan typically creates longer episodes featuring special guests, but this particular episode - "What if you were defined by your worst moment?" - was one of his shorter sound bites where he speaks on a topic for just a few minutes...long enough to give you a meaty bite to chew on.

In this episode, Jonathan tackled the hot topic of comparison and talked about how people prefer earning $75K a year next to people that earn $50K, rather than earning $100K a year next to people that earn $125K. Somehow that extra $25K of salary becomes "less valuable" to us, because we frame it in the context of being less than other people, and that fundamentally feels bad.

He goes on to talk about our tendency to make snap judgments of others, routinely based on a person's worst moment. A person might, in totality, have a life that's characterized by benevolence and kindness, but somehow when we witness that person in a single, weak moment and see them act out of rage, hatred, ignorance or the like, we apply that negativity to them as a whole. Sadly, there's something in this behavior that makes us feel better about ourselves, even if we might do the same exact thing at another point in time.

Jonathan's challenge is for us to become more conscious of this tendency and to rewrite the tape so that we're seeing people as fundamentally good. He asks that we aim less often to elevate our sense of self by making others seem "less than," and more to help others rise along with us.

I think regardless of the context, this is a great lesson to think about, but I see it with specific applicability in the working world, especially if you are a manager of other people. In my time in the work place, I've witnessed two general types of managers: those that manage from a source of fear and those that manage from a source of abundance.

What do I mean by that?

People that manage from a source of fear have a fundamental need to prove they are the "boss." They thrive off authority, being in control, and often, appearing to be the smartest person in the room. These managers might take credit for work you've done or might speak quickly and loudly in meetings so they're heard above the voices of others. They tend to recruit people they feel superior to, then seek to maintain that superiority. They might limit the tasks or challenges put before you, or might overly critique great work, as if they're actively looking for flaws.

People that manage from a source of abundance, on the other hand, believe that there are enough opportunities for everyone to succeed. They don't need to exert control at every moment of the day. They are confident in their abilities, but actively recognize that they're not the smartest person in the room. They seek to hire people smarter than them, because they know those people will not only help them learn, but will reflect success back on them. These managers will champion you for a promotion, even if that puts you at their level, because they're not in the game to compete with you, but to grow you.

The manager in the first scenario manages from fear often because of deep insecurities. Like the behavior Jonathan discusses in the podcast, they need to see others as inferior in order to boost their own self-esteem.

But these managers forget that a rising tide floats all boats. They forget that a team grows stronger, more capable and more productive as each individual member thrives. And what they don't realize is that their behavior creates vicious cycles that ultimately hinder their own growth.

An employee without autonomy, challenge and room to grow will either wither away and become a disengaged, under-performer or will become resentful of the manager, perhaps even complaining to a more senior leader. Just as the successes of a team reflect positively on the abundance-driven manager, so do these behaviors reflect negatively on the fear-driven manager.

One of the best pieces of advice that I received very early in my career was to watch the leaders around me and take note of their actions. When they did something that made me feel inspired, encouraged and motivated, I wrote it down. When they did something that made me feel discouraged, criticized or patronized, I wrote that down, too. I was challenged to build my own managerial style based on the positive things I saw in others, then work to squash any behaviors that I disliked receiving myself. It forced me to think about who I wanted to be as a manager, and it helped me actively craft and hone in on my leadership style.

Of course, no one's perfect. Everyone, even the manager who consciously strives to lead from a place of abundance, can (and probably will) slip into moments of managing from fear. We're human! But the great news is that if you can successfully develop a judgment-free work zone where your colleagues are accustomed to searching for the good in others, your mistakes will be seen as just that, isolated incidents that don't define you.

My challenge for you today is two-fold:

1) If you aspire to be a people manager someday, start observing other leaders NOW and think about what type of manager you want to be. Start practicing some of your skills, perhaps with interns or through indirect influence with colleagues. It's never too soon to start figuring out what feels authentic to you.

2) If you already manage people, reflect on your style. Think about the legacy you want to leave with your team and how your current style supports or refutes that goal. What are you doing well today, and what new behaviors could you put into place to strengthen your skills or relationships?

Let me know how your reflection goes in the comments below, and subscribe to Good Life Project while you're at it!

HOW DO YOU CULTIVATE GRATITUDE IN YOUR CAREER?

Tuesday, November 17, 2015 Gabby Bill 0 Comments

It's not uncommon for conversations to drift toward the subject of gratitude this time of year. In fact, many of us may be conditioned to search for things in our life that we're grateful for, in anticipation of the (dreaded? loved?) around-the-table question that often gets asked at Thanksgiving. It's wonderful that we take the time, any time, to focus on what we're thankful for in our lives, but it can make you wonder why this behavior isn't something we cultivate more routinely.

I became interested in writing about how to recognize gratitude within yourself and your career thanks to a coffee chat I attended this morning with the ICF (International Coaching Federation) Philly chapter. Once a month, a group of us meet at a coffee shop and spend a wonderful 90 minutes discussing a topic: how that topic resonates with us personally, how we use it in our coaching practice and any challenges it presents. Today, the topic was gratitude.

How does this relate back to careers, you might ask?

First and foremost, I've found that "gratitude" isn't typically a descriptor or emotion that we tap into when we're discussing our jobs. When meeting someone for the first time, one of the most common conversation starters tends to be, "So, what do you do?" and if the answer is interesting, perhaps we follow that up with, "Do you like your job?" or "What do you like most about your job?" But there's a distinction I think we often miss between highlighting the things we like about our jobs and cultivating a sense of gratitude for those same things.

I "like" that my job offers me flexibility. But simply stating that I like something is passive. It shows preference for that scenario, but the statement begins and ends there.

If I state that I'm "grateful" to have a job that offers me flexibility, suddenly I've turned that statement into an active practice. I'm very consciously establishing appreciation for that aspect of my job, and I notice that when I pause and turn inward to my emotions, I feel a dramatic difference in my body. (This sounds cheesy, but go with it!)

When I say I like dogs, I don't really feel anything because it's just a statement. But when I say I'm so grateful to have two loving, fluffy chihuahuas, I'm overcome with this intense desire to go over and smother them with kisses they don't want. When I say that I like to cook, maybe I feel a little inspired to think about what I'm making for dinner, but when I say I'm so grateful to have a refrigerator stocked with delicious, healthful foods, I'm suddenly inspired to not only create a gourmet meal, but to savor every bite of it with a much deeper level of appreciation. Am I crazy, or do other people experience this same physical change when they switch up their language?

Now, this doesn't just work when I change positive, "liking" language to frame it with gratitude; in fact, it's even more powerful when I can use it as a foil to reframe a negative thought. For example, I've been feeling some anxiety lately over being an entrepreneur and not always "knowing" the right next step to take in my business. In my past life, although there was always an element of experimentation, I'd had many years of experience to draw from, which guided me and created assurance. But when you're building your own business from scratch, you're writing the story day by day, and that means there aren't many past chapters to draw upon.

So what happens when I flip this anxiety and instead of saying that I'm so nervous that I don't know what I'm doing, I look at it as a tremendous opportunity to "own" my lack of knowledge and seek out the counsel of others who have walked this path before me? I am so grateful to have a reason to reach out to people, establish relationships and learn things I wouldn't discover on my own. If we go back to emotions for a second, it's amazing to see just how different I feel inside when I flip my statement and feel grateful for the opportunities in front of me. Instead of feeding the negative emotion (and feeling worse, as a result), all of a sudden I feel like I want to jump up and take action.

One of the biggest mindset shifts that one of the coaches at our chat talked about today is the progression from "I have to" to "I choose to" to "I get to," with that last phrase most embodying gratitude. I think a lot of people start at a place of "I have to go to work today," and over time as they build the career that best suits their passions, find that they can shift to the much more pleasurable, "I choose to go to work today." But how awesome would it feel to take that one step further and say, "I get to go to work today. I have the privilege of doing X, and I'm so thankful for it."

I encourage you to take some time in the next few days, weeks and months to think about your career in terms of gratitude. What are the things you're grateful for at your job? Are you grateful to have a supportive boss, a friendly team, a fun work environment, daily tasks that challenge your mind or something else entirely? Are there any negative spaces or weaknesses that you can flip and view as opportunities you're grateful to have? If you're already experienced with cultivating gratitude in your life, what are the ways in which you express or record it? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below!

On that note, I want to take the time to thank YOU. Thank you for visiting Career & The City, for reading this post and for giving me a few moments of your highly precious time. I hope that you'll be inspired to think about gratitude even more this time of year, and year-round.

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOU WANT TO BE MANY THINGS WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Monday, November 16, 2015 Gabby Bill 0 Comments

When I was 5 years old, my mom enrolled me in tennis camp for the summer. Even though I got my two front teeth knocked out on day one (I was too busy staring into the sky, day-dreaming when the instructor served me the ball), I loved it. The next summer, I went to computer camp, and the year after it was art camp. During the school year, I enjoyed doing my homework, took dance lessons, had a part in every school play and asked my mom if I could enroll in gymnastics and horseback riding (she said no to those). In my spare time, I wrote books and drew all the illustrations, and I loved helping my mom in the kitchen on the rare occasions that we'd bake or make a home-cooked meal. No matter what my mom threw at me - roller blading, bike riding, attending baseball games, craft projects - I pretty much loved it all. It got to the point where she'd jokingly tell her friends that she thought she could stick me in a pile of mud and I'd have a grand old time.

Fast forward to adult life, and perhaps unsurprisingly, this behavior has followed me. I still love trying new things and very rarely stumble upon an activity or event I dislike (I have found one exception to this rule and that is camping - sleeping in a tent with bugs and bears...no thank you).

But as much as this makes me a fun person to be around, this passion for many things has turned out to be tricky when it comes to my career.

When I was 14 years old, I started my own online magazine on AOL and ran it for four years as editor-in-chief. I loved doing it, so I decided to major in journalism in college. But by junior year, I was bored. I felt like I had "mastered" journalism (clearly I hadn't, but that's how I felt), and I was ready for a new challenge. So I added a business minor and when I graduated, I got a job in public relations, a tangentially related field. That was fun...for a little while...but I got bored then, too. Cue grad school.

I've established a pattern in my life and career so far where I choose a subject I'm incredibly interested in, dive SO deep and immerse myself in it, and then at some undefined point (a year, five years?) later, get completely bored with the subject and start searching for some new challenge to tackle.

I remember a conversation I had with my former boss and mentor, Bryan - there's going to be a whole post about him soon, as he is the epitome of a great boss - where I told him I was worried that my resume was going to start looking scattered. If I kept up this pattern of changing careers every three years, were employers going to start viewing me negatively? Bryan wasn't so sure I had established a pattern yet, but he did agree that it might look fishy if I continued to jump around.

I thought I was broken. I thought I was confused about what I really wanted. Or that I was indecisive. I told myself a host of negative things and wondered how others could be so sure about the one thing they wanted to do with their life.

It was only a few months ago that I really started challenging this thinking and wondering why it was that we are expected to find just one thing we're passionate about and pursue it with rigor for the entirety of our lives. And then yesterday my friend Allison shared this amazing TED talk with me that had me nodding my head and smiling for nearly a full 12 minutes. Give it a watch:




"I'VE FOUND MY PEOPLE," I screamed inside my head. "I'M A MULTIPOTENTIALITE!"

How freeing to know we're a "we," not a "me." That there's truth to the statement that you don't have to choose one, narrow course for your career if that's not what works for you. How freeing to realize that this behavior is not only normal, but pretty darn valuable for the perspectives and breadth people with diverse interests can bring to a work situation.

The lesson here goes back to something I said in my first post: that I had spent too much of my career thus far following the path I thought I should be on. Societal cues always told me I had to pick one thing for my career, and I felt pressure to conform. But the truth is that I can build my career in whatever fashion works for me, fulfills me and continually inspires me.

This doesn't mean I may not have my work cut out for me if it comes to explaining this behavior to an employer. That said, it's common knowledge today that the "spray and pray" resume method isn't very effective, so if I'm going to get my job through networking anyway, I feel confident that a good elevator pitch can help me explain my multipotentialite-isms. Hey, if Madonna can reinvent herself every five years, can't we all?

What do you think about the concept of a multipotentialite? Does that resonate with you, or are you more of a specialist? What are you most passionate about when it comes to your career?

WHAT DRIVES YOU TO DO YOUR BEST WORK?

Saturday, November 14, 2015 Gabby Bill 0 Comments

I first noticed that I felt "different" from other marketers when I started recruiting for internships (and later, full-time jobs) during my time at Harvard Business School. I had spent two years prior to starting my MBA working in public relations and publishing at Walt Disney Parks & Resorts and had explicitly come to HBS with the intention of parlaying my communications background into a more strategic marketing role. But as my colleagues flocked to the info sessions of "top" CPG companies, like Procter & Gamble, Kraft and Pepsi, I avoided them all.

When I thought about a career marketing toilet paper or mac 'n' cheese or a sugary soda I didn't believe people should be drinking anyway, I was overcome with a feeling of dread. And this was before I had even interviewed for, or been offered a job, doing any such work.

At first, I doubted whether I was "meant" to be a marketer. After all, these were the most prized marketing positions out there, and I was one of the few people snubbing my nose at them and wanting "more" from my job.

But then it dawned on me. My reticence actually had nothing to do with the discipline of marketing and had everything to do with what motivated me on the job. For some people, clearly, they were motivated by things like industry prestige, classical training, a structured promotion process, even salary, as these firms tended to pay among the higher rates for post-MBA marketers.

And it's not that I didn't think those things were cool, too, because goodness knows I also wanted to make a lot of money and work for a well-known brand. But I was ignoring the fact that, for me, motivation was strongly tied to the level of passion I possessed for the product or service I was marketing. It was what made returning to Disney so appealing to me - regardless of the fact that I'd be paid pennies or that I'd only be in control of one (maybe two, if you stretch it) of the "four P's of marketing" (product, price, promotion and place), I loved Walt Disney World, and the idea of marketing magic lit me up inside.

That said, I started to doubt myself again after spending 3 1/2 years as a marketing strategist at Disney after graduation. It wasn't that my experience was anything less than magical (for the most part): I was the brand manager for Epcot for 8 months, got to market a food & wine and flower & garden festival, and got to be a part of the team that proctored a long-standing partnership with HGTV. I also worked on Disney Cruise Line for a few months, launched a stuffed toy product in the US parks and spent two amazing years revitalizing the national prospect marketing strategies for Disney Vacation Club, Disney's timeshare product.

I still loved Disney just as much as ever, but for the first time, the absence of some of those things I had passed up on at HBS - particularly salary and a structured promotion process - started to bother me. I got resentful that Disney promised me a raise, then buried their head in the sand every time I reminded them I had still not received it. I felt hurt when I was told I was the strongest performer at my level, but then deemed "too young" for a promotion. I started to believe - to my own surprise - that I had been wrong from the start and that the product I was marketing actually didn't matter if I had a strong salary, good benefits and could increase my title and responsibilities.

When I accepted a new job at Capital One a few months later, I solved for the problems I had been facing at Disney. I got a $20K+ increase in base salary, a massive yearly bonus (and a signing bonus), upped my title to "Manager" and joined a team of other "young" marketers that wouldn't judge me by my age. I even felt a little bit excited about the product - I was to work in the direct bank division and had been a Capital One 360 (formerly ING Direct) customer for years. It seemed like a match made in heaven.

Of course, you know the other shoe did indeed drop.

After the initial high of starting a new job, figuring out the ropes and trying to influence change where things were broken, I got bored fairly quickly. Analysts would wax on about financial terms that I never fully understood. Colleagues of mine would get so excited about developing a piece of direct mail to get someone to open a new checking account. And all I could think about was how much I missed roller coasters, churros and Mickey Mouse.

Despite what it may sound like, I'm not at all trying to say that my jump to Capital One was a bad decision or that I regret it, because it's led to other amazing things that I couldn't even have imagined. Rather the experience taught me lessons about the power of intrinsic motivation. Even though I wanted my motivation to be tied to external rewards and be one of those marketers who could "market anything," money, title and prestige alone just weren't enough. In the absence of a product that truly excited me (along with some other duds that I'll discuss in future blog posts), the pull of those rewards faded fast, and I was left like an empty tank of gas.


I encourage you to read the book if you want to truly understand how Daniel crafted this framework, but here are my three key takeaways, if you're OK with Cliff's Notes: