HOW TO NOT BE A SHITTY MANAGER (OR THE DO'S AND DON'TS OF GREAT LEADERS)

Sunday, March 27, 2016 Gabby Bill 0 Comments

It's been stated a hundred times, so this particular thought isn't anything new, but it's worth repeating to get this blog post off to a good start: In business you get promoted because you're great at executing a specific task, but the more and more you're promoted, the less you're actually asked to complete the task you were great at in the first place. 

It's a fascinating dichotomy, because if we look at our educational systems, we spend 12+ years learning tactile, specific, repeatable skills designed to help us succeed in the workplace, yet we're given very little direct training in teamwork, communication styles, leadership and managing people.

This might be fine if you're a research chemist, and you literally spend every day performing experiments in a lab by yourself, but if you're an entrepreneur, in any business or corporate field or are in any company where there's a supervisory capacity, chances are the day is going to come when the skills you've been taught become obsolete.

If we think about it this way -- that functionally most of us just simply aren't taught how to be good bosses -- it becomes less of a surprise as to why so many people suck at it. I've seen dozens of co-workers who excelled as individual contributors completely lose their shit when it comes down to managing a team. They either don't understand how to delegate properly, or they aren't sure how to coach rather than critique. They're confused when it comes to building the skills of those around them, and perhaps worst of all, they don't know how to truly play as a team where the "rising tide floats all boats" mentality is prevalent.

I'll never forget this life-changing piece of advice that I received from my boss, Richard, when I was temporarily back-filling a marketing strategy role for Disney Cruise Line. Richard, who was one of the gems I've worked for, advised me to be a leadership sponge. He told me to watch the leaders around me and to take note when they did something great. He said to pay attention to my own feelings in the work place and to analyze when a leader made me feel good versus small. Over time, he said, I'd start to understand the difference between smart, strong leadership behaviors and those that should be avoided.

He was right.

When I became a people manager myself, I proactively went back to my internal book of leadership notes, and although I was by no means perfect, I think my years of observation helped me apply a thing or two that worked. Now I want to share these learnings with you!

1) GREAT LEADERS NEVER CHASTISE THEIR DIRECT REPORTS -- NOT IN PUBLIC OR IN PRIVATE
Your direct reports are humans, just like you and me, and humans are destined to screw up sometimes. But just like a dog will start to shy away from an outreached hand if you smack it as a form of discipline, your direct report will start to a) shy away from you and b) shy away from risks if you use sharp criticism and negativity as a means of shaping their behavior.

Here's an example. When I was working for Capital One, I misunderstood a direction that my manager had given me, and therefore I replied to an email that I shouldn't have, CCing a group of people that I also shouldn't have. I made a mistake -- there was no doubt about it -- but rather than addressing it calmly, my manager shot me a harshly-worded, anger-laced email chastising me. I reacted just like that hurt puppy would: I recoiled, felt terrible about myself for the rest of the day, and my productivity plummeted. Furthermore, in the future, I defaulted to asking for her permission before doing simple tasks or sought to repeat instructions multiple times, all because I was now terrified of awakening the dragon.

You could say I just didn't have tough enough skin. But why put someone in a situation where they need thick skin when there's an even better way to handle it that results in them feeling supported and empowered?

My favorite boss ever, Bryan, who I worked with at Disney Vacation Club for two years, was the absolute expert in stuff like this. Although I did plenty wrong during my time there, I never once felt as though I failed. If Bryan had critiques to offer me, he did so a) in person, b) after hearing my side of the story first and c) by delivering it in a kind, thoughtful manner whereby he reassured me he had my back and would work with me to fix the issue the next time. I always left his office with a smile on my face and feeling inspired to tackle a task, rather than dreading it.

2) GREAT LEADERS KNOW HOW TO LET THEIR DIRECT REPORTS "SWIM," WHILE KEEPING A LIFE RAFT AT THE READY
In my first marketing role at Disney, my manager Belinda gave me this direction: "You go on out and swim, swim, swim. If you go too far, I've got the fishing rod, and I'll just reel you back in." She understood that her role as my manager was not just to make sure that I got my work done, but to give me the opportunities I needed to grow and develop, while also having a cushion to fall back on.

Bryan understood this too. If I was in a meeting and at any point felt unsure of how to answer a superior's question or tackle a challenge set before me, I had only to glance at him, and he just knew. Without hesitation, he jumped in and had my back, but just as quickly would pass the reins back to me when he knew I could handle it.

This is unlike other bosses I've seen who either keep their direct reports on such a tight leash that they stifle their growth -- oftentimes done out of insecurity that someone else's success will usurp their own -- or they sit back and let their direct reports flounder, only jumping in when doing so makes them look good. This behavior might make the manager feel like they're the smartest person in the room, but it won't win them any long-term favors. When their direct reports aren't happy and either leave the company or seek to transfer to another team, that'll reflect poorly on them. And don't even think for a minute that they'll be safe from developing a poor reputation around the office. Tales of crappy leadership spread like wildfire.

3) GREAT LEADERS SPEND MORE TIME ASKING YOU WHAT YOU THINK SHOULD BE DONE, RATHER THAN TELLING YOU WHAT THEY THINK YOU SHOULD DO
This is a tough one to grasp, particularly for new leaders, because as we mentioned at the top of the post, you become a manager because you're really good at a certain task. And now you, oftentimes, have this wide-eyed junior employee sitting at your feet, and they know nothing about doing this task that you're an expert in. It can be all too tempting to sit up on your high horse and instruct your direct report time after time, but the reality is that real learning often comes from them figuring things out on their own.

There are some cases where instruction is necessary. If you need to teach them a new program, define a concept for them or show them an example of a finished product that they've never seen before, by all means, instruct away. But if they're running into a challenge, aren't 100% sure how to proceed or want feedback on something they're about to do, ask them what they think before you ever offer your opinion.

The truth is that your direct report probably isn't too far off from the right response. After all, you hired them because they had some baseline level of qualifications that, at least in your estimate, would set them up for success in this role. By you allowing them to express their thoughts, you're reinforcing their critical thinking processes and instilling confidence in them. If they're way off base, you can chime in and course-correct, but by acknowledging the smart thinking they did first, you're teaching them that exploring options themselves and coming to you with a recommended plan of action is smart.

Listen, being a great leader isn't easy. It's why, when you work for a great boss, you hold onto them for as long as possible and seek to learn as much from them as you can. It's also why, when you become a people manager, it becomes critical to ask for, and be open to receiving, feedback. Some of the leadership behaviors that we discussed here are simpler to proactively apply than others, but we can't forget that any management position is a two-way street, and you'll need to customize your approach based on who you're managing and how you best communicate. You'll prime yourself for the ultimate levels of success if you're willing to meet your direct reports halfway and continue improving yourself as you go -- after all, it takes two to tango!

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Now it's your turn. What else have you experienced as a manager or someone who was managed that has built you up or torn you down? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below.

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Gabrielle "Gabby" Bill is a career coach and consultant who believes everyone should be working in a job that leaves them feeling fulfilled. She coaches groups and individuals through a reflection process, uncovering often hidden motivations, values, goals and skills as they relate to their career. These reflections are then parlayed into concrete action plans to guide clients through the process of finding, creating and landing their dream jobs. You can learn more about her services by visiting www.gabriellebill.com. 

WHAT IS CAREER COACHING, ANYWAY?

Tuesday, March 22, 2016 Gabby Bill 0 Comments

The video below is the first of many I'll be creating. In it, I walk you through three things that coaching IS and two things that coaching ISN'T, and although this just scratches the surface, it hopefully leaves you with a better understanding of why coaching can be so impactful.

Guys, this is literally the first video I've ever created, so PLEASE share your feedback with me. If this video sparks any additional thoughts or questions, leave them in the comments section below or feel free to reach out via email or social media (there are links in the nav bar at the top of the blog).

I can't wait to hear what you think, and I hope you find the content helpful!

CENTER STAGE: HELENE KWONG OF HASHTAGITUDE

Thursday, March 17, 2016 Gabby Bill 0 Comments

I've known Helene for half of my life, yet I've never met her in person and only heard the sound of her voice for the first time in the last 6 months.

You see, Helene and I were matched as online penpals back in high school when mailing a real dollar to some nameless, faceless penpal company was a thing we all did with our allowance money, right? (Let me know in the comments section below if this was you, too.). Most of those penpal relationships probably fell apart within, what, 6 months?  

Helene and I have been mailing each other handwritten letters for 15 years.

That's why, when I started this Center Stage series, she immediately came to mind as someone I needed to feature. I've been following her career development literally from the beginning and have been so proud to watch her path transform along the way. To me, Helene is a shining example of someone who truly never gives up; of someone who is so willing to bob and weave, try new things and pursue what makes her happy, even when stumbling blocks get in her way. I hope you'll find her story as interesting and inspiring as I do.

Of course, it started somewhat unremarkably: She graduated from George Mason University in 2007 with a degree in marketing, a career decision she had made partly to "make her parents proud" and partly to capitalize on her love of hand-drawing "Got Milk?" ads on scraps of notebook paper. She was even lucky enough to land a job opportunity with a close family friend in San Francisco immediately after graduation!

But just as Helene was packing her bags and shipping her life off to California, tragedy struck. The friend who was going to hire her died suddenly, and in his absence, the job that was promised to her quickly disappeared. Now unexpectedly unemployed, living in a new city and possessing no real-world job experience, Helene found herself in the very opposite place she expected. Needing to stay afloat as she restructured her plans, she took a part-time job taking dictation at a local law firm, but within 6 months found herself unemployed again when the attorney retired and no longer needed her services. 

And the struggles didn't let up. In light of the economic downturn, Helene spent about ten months working at a local hot dog stand, a job she never imagined she'd have with a college degree, then worked as an Administrative Assistant at a local ESL (English as a second language) school for a year and a half. While the job was good and gave her the chance to dip her toe into marketing, she quickly realized how limited her growth opportunities were and decided that perhaps higher education would get her out of her funk. She was accepted to the University of Denver's International MBA program and had prepared to start in the fall of 2010 when she was severely injured in a car accident. Her injuries were so bad that she had to defer enrollment for a year as she recovered, and although she did matriculate in the fall of 2011, she was disappointed with the program and choose not to stay.

Stuck in a series of what seemed like endless challenges, but knowing she had so much to offer the world, Helene decided to take things into her own hands; to stop waiting for employers to see her strengths, to stop waiting for a degree as a stamp of approval. Instead she hired a business coach, and with his assistance and encouragement, launched her own passion project and company: TAOPivot.

TAOPivot was a twist on a head-hunting agency. After realizing her love of connecting with international (particularly Asian) students in undergrad and then seeing first-hand how much trouble these same students had garnering MBA internships, Helene capitalized on a gap in the market. With TAOPivot, she could help students who spoke English as a second language polish their personal brands, while also acting as a liaison to companies, convincing them as to why they should bring on these incredibly smart individuals.

Students loved her. She was friendly, well-spoken, and as an Asian-American, someone they could relate to. And companies were excited to have her involved, as she acted as a sort of "front line" recruiter, bringing forth only candidates who were qualified, strong matches for the company. 

Only things weren't as simple as presenting a candidate and a company saying "yes." In fact, a whole slew of politics and paperwork kept getting in the way, as candidates didn't always have the appropriate visas in place to accept the work, and securing them wasn't a service Helene offered.

"I referred my clients to some international attorneys, but the partnerships I had developed weren't that strong," she says. Ultimately, many of the students she worked with found it too challenging to accept jobs, even with Helene's help, and after nearly two years, the business folded. "It was like mourning the loss of a child," she says.

Leaving herself little time to grieve, Helene dove head first into her original passion: marketing. She started attending local and national events and conferences, live tweeting and building up the already-budding social media presence she had started with TAOPivot. Her efforts began getting noticed, and before long she had people approaching her asking for help with their social media efforts. But she was scared.

"I didn't feel like I was experienced enough, and I didn't want another failure," she says. So she treaded lightly, taking a few contracts, but also launching her second business simultaneously -- a boutique baking company that crafted handmade macarons and other delightful delicacies.  Slowly, as her confidence grew, she shuttered the baking company and launched a social media agency full time.

Three years later, Helene's the successful founder and CEO of Hashtagitude, a full-service digital marketing firm that offers consulting and coaching to businesses looking to excel in social media marketing, as well as other areas of the discipline. She runs it with her co-founder and boyfriend Ryan, and although it's taken time to build, she's seen enough success to not only raise her rates, but start a social media-themed podcast with a growing listenership AND seek to hire her first employee in 2016.

I asked Helene if she thought this was "it," if this third business she's started was the "charm" the adage says it should be, and if this meant she'd be hanging up her entrepreneur hat. She chuckled.

"For now, I’m in a viable and sustainable business, but I’m still keeping my options open," she says. "I would like to see this business live on. I’d like to see it be more successful than my previous ventures. But I’m not sure what my next career will be, because I’m enjoying the present."

MANIFEST WITH ME: A REVIEW / EXPERIMENT FEATURING PAM GROUT'S BOOK E-SQUARED

Wednesday, March 09, 2016 Gabby Bill 0 Comments

Let me start by saying that I'm a highly practical, logical and concrete person. In the past I've proudly compared myself to Spock, the emotionless, there-is-a-right-way-to-do-this Vulcan, and although that's an extreme example, I do tend to function better in a world where I can touch, see and feel things.

It should come as no surprise, then, that when someone introduced me to the concept of "manifesting" recently, I immediately wrote them off as some kind of scam artist / loony toon who was seriously out of touch with reality.

What is manifesting, you ask? It's the concept that we, through the power of our thoughts, can create our own destinies; that literally, by thinking strongly enough about a certain outcome, we can turn that into reality. Want to be a best-selling author? Envision this circumstance clearly enough, set an intention to become a best-selling author, and in time, your wish will come true.

Sounds ridiculous right?

I thought so, too, only much as I tried to put this idea behind me, something continued to draw my curiosity forward. Perhaps it was the desire to understand how smart, put-together men and women could be so fooled by this cockamamie magic, but regardless, I continued to research the subject, and at the behest of some "believers," picked up a few related books.

One of these books is called E-Squared: Nine Do-It-Yourself Energy Experiments That Prove Your Thoughts Create Your Reality, and as you'd expect, it walks you through a series of exercises designed to help you experience first-hand the power of your own mind.

The book is written for someone exactly like me -- a logic-driven mind who doesn't quite believe these things are possible -- and yet, it asks that as you undertake each of the experiments you force your rational brain to suspend disbelief...just for 48 hours at a time.

As much as I'm not sure I believe I can make myself a millionaire just by thinking about being one, a part of me couldn't help but wonder if I was actually missing out on becoming my own fairy godmother. I decided to give it a shot.

It all starts with Experiment #1...

Experiment #1 is designed to "prove" to you that there is an invisible energy force all around you, and that you can tap into this force at any time to bring about positivity in your life. Since this is the "intro" experiment, the book talks about how you're supposed to set a verbal intention for receiving a blessing -- you can't specify what that blessing is or how big it will be (apparently that's supposed to come in a future chapter). Then you wait 48 hours, keeping your eyes open for this "unexpected good" to magically arrive in your life.

Picture this: Here I am sitting in my bed at 11pm on a Saturday night literally talking to the universe and asking for it/he/she to send me a blessing in the next 48 hours. I felt kind of like an idiot, but I did it anyway and promised myself I'd keep an open mind.

Day 1 went by and nothing extraordinary happened. At 11pm, I reprised my role of talking to myself and reminded the universe that it/he/she had just 24 hours left to send me my blessing.

On Day 2, something happened. I was going about my regular business when I got an email from a woman I had worked with last year to promote Beautycounter products on my other blog. This woman and I hadn't spoken in more than 3 months, and yet here she was reaching out and asking me to participate in a paid makeup artist gig at a festival in just a few days. It was already surprising for me to hear from this woman out of the blue, but considering that I'm not even a professional makeup artist, the outreach was that much more unexpected. On top of that, I had been feeling some financial pressure after dropping a ridiculous sum of money to meet my favorite celebrity at this summer's Wizard World Comic Con, and the fee I'd receive for the appearance would almost nearly pay me back for that outlay of funds.

Coincidence or universe sending me a blessing? I can't say I'm totally sure, but my ears certainly perked up.

On Monday night, I moved onto Experiment #2...

In Experiment #2, the idea is that you're supposed to set a specific intention to "see" something in your life. On the first day you pick one object (the book specifies green or "sunset beige" colored cars) and on the second day another object (the book recommends yellow butterflies or purple feathers). The idea is that when you shift your consciousness to focus on finding something, you usually do. It's not as though these things aren't there normally, but more that because you're not looking for them, your brain doesn't process their existence.

This one sounded fairly easy to me. I mean, we all know how the moment you buy a new car you start seeing it everywhere, even if you never noticed it on the streets before. Knowing this, I decided to make the experiment as challenging as I could and look for green cars over beige ones, because really, who drives a green car nowadays anyway?

I wasn't going to be spending much time on the road, but I did need to make a quick run to Target, so as I began the approximately 2-mile drive to the store, I started to keep my eyes peeled.

About 2 minutes into the drive, I squealed with glee when I saw a green car parked on the side of the road. "Yippee!" I thought, "mission complete."

But then it got kind of weird. About 10 seconds later, I saw a second green car, and then a third. All of a sudden there were literally green cars EVERYWHERE. I counted TWENTY FOUR green cars in the 10-minute drive to Target. When I got to the store, there were four more green cars in the parking lot, and I counted nearly 10 more in the first few minutes of my drive home. I finally stopped looking when I realized I had found nearly forty green cars.

FORTY GREEN CARS PEOPLE!?

Could that really still be coincidence?

Today is Day 2 of Experiment #2, so I'm on a mission to find yellow butterflies and/or purple feathers. Sounds pretty tough if you ask me, but given I exceeded my own expectations yesterday, I'm starting to think there may be more to this story than I initially thought.

Have you ever read E-Squared? Are you a manifesting master? I'll continue to chart my thoughts and experiences as I complete the experiments, but would love to hear your comments and questions below!

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Want to learn more about the Career Coaching services that I offer? Head on over to my website (www.gabriellebill.com) for all the deets, then drop me a note if you'd like to chat.

Do you have an amazing career story that other people just NEED to hear? I'm always looking for new folks to feature in my Center Stage series. If that's you, reach out!

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